So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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