Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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