this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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