Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize