She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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