Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
