My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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