As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
