That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
