i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
