for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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