that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
A+ Viking dick
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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