that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
