I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
