If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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