Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
