dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
