the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
