Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
