Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
