We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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