I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am one with the molecules
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize