so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
