He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
