Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
