Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
