And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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