Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
