I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
