she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
