I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
