You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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