On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
