I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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