Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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