And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
