i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize