His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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