Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
