I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
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