physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
