ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
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