He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
ttyl tear gas
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
