So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
