O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
