You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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