We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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