I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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