I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
