He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
