your parents love me but you hate me
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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