and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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