mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize