we're blogging at a bar
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
