ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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