It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
