I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
