So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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