Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
