Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jkemp hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(912): View more from Georgia

i woke up with socks on this morning

(485): View more from

so?

(912): View more from Georgia

i didnt wear socks last night

Fav 5 1868 791
share tweet
(585): View more from New York

This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.

Fav 4 3530 1072
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(859): View more from Kentucky

Just took my morning after pill in the library

Fav 29 1711 4418
share tweet
(943): View more from

You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka

Fav 10 5729 1119
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.

(1-817): View more from Texas

It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.

Fav 8 1990 659
share tweet
(804): View more from Virginia

The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.

Fav 1 756 457
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(314): View more from Missouri

Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.

Fav 6 506 993
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(907): View more from Alaska

I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?

Fav 0 42 3
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(317): View more from Indiana

Come on in and take your pants off

Fav 0 85 5
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT