I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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